Faith or Fear?

I had another ultrasound last Friday. Normally, I would not have an ultrasound at twenty five weeks, but it was per my doctor's orders. My twenty week ultrasound showed that all was well with the baby, except for one thing--the doctor spotted a bit of fluid around the baby's heart. He told me not to worry, but that he did want to check the baby's heart in another month.

The doctor also told me he could refer me to a specialist, if I so desired. I asked him what the benefit of an early diagnosis would be. He said the only benefit would be if I decided I wanted to abort the baby. We had just seen our sweet baby's face on the ultrasound. He already looks like his brothers. My doctor knows me well. I flatly said, "No way." He told me he was in agreement with me. (I do so love my doctor. He is very pro-life. He also isn't one bit flummoxed when I refuse all the genetic testing they like to do these days. He knows as well as I do that the tests often produce false positives. He also knows that the tests will not change my mind about continuing with a pregnancy.)

I tried not to worry while I waited during the weeks before the second ultrasound. I tried to talk to myself logically. "I won't worry until there is something to worry about." Yet as the time grew nearer for the ultrasound, I did worry. I had bad dreams about the baby needing heart surgery in utero. I woke up during the night and begged the Lord that all would be well with baby's heart. I also thought about the man Jesus healed who was blind from birth.

And his disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?" Jesus answered, "It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him." John 9:2-3

I was quite nervous the day before the ultrasound. That evening, I listened to Selah sing, "Be Still My Soul." I climbed into bed, said a prayer and rested peacefully all night. As Matt drove me to my appointment, I was quiet, but I was at peace. I waited past my appointment time in the doctor's office and I was still at peace. When I finally did get into the room and the new and inexperienced technician began the ultrasound, I still was at peace.

When the more experienced ultrasound tech took over, she zeroed in on baby's heart. I'm no expert, but I didn't see the fluid around his little beating heart anymore. Matt and I even got to see baby yawn. So precious. Life! Not a blob of tissue or a fetus, but a baby.

While I waited to see my doctor and go over the results of the ultrasound with him, I was at peace. When he did eventually burst into the room, he announced, "Everything looks great! The baby's heart is normal!" Thank you, Jesus.

Matt and I are so grateful to the Lord for the mercy He has shown us. Truly we are fearfully and wonderfully made. Yet, if our baby was diagnosed as having heart problems, we would have loved our baby and our Jesus just the same, because "in every change, He faithful will remain."

Bouncing Boy

This blue bouncing ball has been in our family for the better part of thirty years. I'm not kidding. I remember bouncing on it as a small girl at my Grandma and Grandpa's house. All the cousins enjoyed it and eventually it got passed down to our family. Jude, not to be outdone by his older siblings, has insisted on bouncing as of late. He's really too small for the bouncy ball, but he tries anyway.

He mounts and dismounts by steadying himself against the kitchen cabinets. Normally, one would bounce in a forward motion while riding the bouncy ball, but not Jude. Since he's still too small for the bouncy ball, he's had to figure out an unconventional method for riding it--he bounces by pushing backwards with his feet, not forward.

Womb Dancing

Last week as we drove home in the van after picking up our Gracie, we listened to Amy Grant's album, Legacy . . . Hymns and Faith. Our family favorite is the last song on the album, Marching to Zion. As we listened to that song, the baby lept in my womb. I said to Matt, "The baby likes this one." He said, "It's the bagpipes. He's a Macduff."

Cowboy Joel

Joel is really into cowboys right now. He wears his black cowboy hat (we had to convince him that good cowboys wear black hats, too) belt, cowboy boots and gun holster all the time. To church, to bed, even to a wedding we attended this past weekend.It used to bother him terribly that his belt had so much leather hanging loose at the end (because he's so skinny), but then he watched an old John Wayne movie with his big brother. Now he tells us that he likes his belt that way because that's the way John Wayne wears his belt.

When Joel doesn't want to try a new food at the dinner table, we simply say something like, "Cowboys love brussel sprouts, Joel," and he happily tries a bite. He may only try one bite, but at least he gives it a go, which he usually refuses to do.

Joel begins each morning with pleas for his big brother Paul to dress up like a cowboy, too. Paul usually complies by putting on his chaps, belt, hat and gun holster. After all, it's no fun being the only cowboy in the family.

The Boy in the Yellow Boots

Jude, not completely unlike his big sister, Grace (who was very attached to a pair of pink rubber boots as a toddler) has become very fond of a yellow rubber pair of boots. He puts them on his feet first thing in the morning. He has to have them forcibly removed for nap time and bed time. He often gets compliments on his snappy foot ware when we're out and about. Unlike his big sister, though, Jude prefers to be fully clothed (or pajamed) when he's wearing his boots.

We Have a Young Lady

Grace turned fifteen last week. As a parent, when you're drowning in spilled milk, bodily fluids and endless diaper changes, it's hard to believe what everyone says, "It goes by so fast." But it has. I can't believe Matt and I are the parents of a fifteen year old. Grace still has her fiery red hair, but she's traded her pink rubber boots and birthday suit (her favorite "outfit" as a toddler) for cowboy boots and long feminine skirts.

We celebrated Grace's birthday with both sets of grandparents on two different days. Grandpa Tom and Grandma Jane gave her tickets to go see the musical South Pacific with them in October. Grandma Dianne and Grandpa Bob gave her a Laura Ingalls Madame Alexander doll. We gave her the family camera, as she is now the official photographer of the family.
The day after her birthday, Grace got to go visit my Aunt Leanna and Uncle Keith for a couple of days. The small town in which they live is readying itself for its annual German festival. Grace got to help the Lutheran church ladies prepare approximately 550 apple strudel to sell at the event. The dough is rolled out paper thin and then covered with butter, cinnamon sugar and chopped apples. It's then rolled into a strudel and baked. It's quite a labor intensive process. Grace enjoyed working with all the women (and some men) of the church to prepare the special dessert.

Elizabeth and I finished off the canning while Grace was gone. The whole family went to pick Grace up and bring her home. We were all glad to have our level-headed red head back with us once again.

Quick Update

Our van--she's back and I'm very happy about that. Ahh--air conditioning.Canning. We've been doing a lot of it and we're relieved that we're done for the year.
School work. We started hitting the books again this week. Even little Joel worked on some math today with the help of his big sister, Elizabeth.