Then I got brave enough to look at the summer calendar. With all three big kids gone and/or working much of the summer, it looks like life will not be slowing down much. No big kids means I'll be the mom of mostly littles again. It feels like I'm starting over. Yet, I'm not.
I have kids that are getting ready to launch, but I still have one that needs to be potty trained. I was telling a friend not long ago, "I have a 2 year old and a 20 year old who are crying." I'm providing both adult and toddler counseling--sometimes within the same hour. At times I feel like I'm losing my marbles. I long for the simpler days when the kids and I went to the park, read books and played outside in the backyard. Funny, back then I thought life was hard. It was hard, just a different kind of hard.
 |
| In the midst of the chaos, I took time out to help Joel spray paint his older sister's outgrown bike. It was transformed from a feminine purple to a decidedly masculine hunter green. |
It's not that the kids don't play and read--they do. I just don't have as much time to do those things along with them. Gone are the days when I set the schedule and mapped out activities for all of us. My new normal is more like being an air traffic controller. "You have permission to take off and go there." "Someone is approaching the runway, but only long enough to snarf down dinner before taking off again." "You, get him in the bath and wash off all the mud and chicken poop." "Did somebody feed the dog?" "Practice piano." "Do your school work." Sometimes I feel like my head might spin off.
How do I combat the crazies? I do a lot of praying in the night watches. I read my Bible every morning (sometimes only getting through 1 chapter). I listen to hymns--a lot. When I find myself getting spun up, hymns calm me down. I concentrate on the basics--food, clean underwear, Bible (personal devotion time for all readers) and math.
I'm also trying a new system of writing down the "have-to-dos," for the day first thing in the morning. These are the items outside of the basics (listed above) that still need to happen. I write down the "have-to-be" places for the day on this note as well. I stick the note to the cabinet and check it throughout the day to keep myself on track. I have Grace write her work schedule for the week on a separate Post-It so that I am more informed of her comings and goings.
I like to know the plan and I like to know it ahead of time, thank you very much. God, in His grace, continues to teach me that I don't have to know the plan (not even the plan for the next hour). I have to learn to roll with the punches. My days no longer follow a predictable pattern. Monkey wrenches are now the norm, not the exception. Matt will sometimes ask me with a smile on his face, "Can you roll with it, Melissa?" I'm learning to give a tentative, "Suuurre." God is teaching me to ever rely on Him and slowly, but surely I am learning. And I'm pretty sure He is pleased with the new normal.
