Therapy

Some of the people in my life are going through some really tough things.  I've spent many early morning hours praying for them, but beyond that, I'm feeling pretty helpless.  I'm not in a position to make these difficult life circumstances "all better," but I know the One who is and I appeal to His mercy daily.

I fell into bed the other night and prayed, "Lord, I just want personal peace and affluence."  He has a sense of humor, so I knew He could take it.  Something woven into my DNA, whether it be my German heritage, my position as first born child or my melancholy personality (or a combination of the three) means I end up taking on other people's stress.  It's not exactly a healthy practice.  So near the end of last week, I put myself in therapy.

First and foremost, I continued to give others' burdens to the Lord.  I'm not the best burden bearer and as as Matt keeps reminding me, "We play checkers. God plays chess."  Next, I decided to clean. Visual clutter really bothers me, but I've had to become a lot more lax about it.  Having eight kids in the house doesn't exactly lend itself to the "neat and tidy" look that is my personal preference.  But, sometimes I snap.  Something goes off in my brain and I have to get some of the clutter cleared out.

That's what has happened in the last few days.  I sorted piles of mixed up Zoobs, K'Nex and Legos and put them into their proper places.  Then I sorted the Legos by color.  When my brother gifted our boys with his Lego collection several years ago, they were all organized by color, but they didn't stay that way for long.  Now they're back to their former glory.  We'll see how long it lasts--hah!

I tackled Lydia's corner of the girls' room.  This is usually a task for which I'm unable to muster the necessary mental fortitude, but Saturday I did it.  Lydia and I went through every tub and in-progress craft project.  We sorted buttons, yarn, beads and pens.  I washed every stitch of her bedding and put on the winter sheets.

I also sorted all of the kids' books.  We have accumulated a very large library, but everything was out of order.  Golden books were all returned to their rightful place on the book shelf in the boys' room. Early readers were returned to their shelf in the school room.  I went through all the children's books in the house, including Christmas books, and picked out what was borderline twaddle (I got rid of true twaddle several years ago).  I packed two boxes of books to go to Goodwill.

I haven't mailed a single Christmas card, or baked a single Christmas cookie, but I've taken two trips to Goodwill to donate stuff, gone to the recycling center twice and filled our outside garbage can to overflowing.  That was Monday and our garbage pick up day isn't until Thursday.

All this cleaning has been therapeutic in that it keeps my brain from hamster wheeling and going into "impossible problem" solving mode, which it tends to do when not completely focused on a task--a task like sorting Legos by color.  I told Matt "it's cheaper than real therapy, plus all the Legos got sorted."

It's a comfort to know that while I sort Legos and find ten pairs of dirty socks under the beds, the Master Chess Player is making His next move.

  for I am God, and there is no other; 
 I am God, and there is none like me,

10 

declaring the end from the beginning

    and from ancient times things not yet done,

saying, ‘My counsel shall stand,

    and I will accomplish all my purpose,’ 
Isaiah 46:9-10