When people ask how we're doing, I say, "Good . . .blah, blah, blah." It's not that it's untrue. Life is good. God is good. But the past seven months have been a struggle. I mean STRUGGLE.
We're studying the Revelation of Jesus Christ to St. John this year in Bible Study Fellowship. As an aside, I've been very pleased with how deftly BSF has handled the book. No theological strong-arming. Just the book as it was recorded, concentrating on victory and The Lamb.
Of course, one can't study Revelation without learning about satan. The enemy of our souls is alive and well. He's a deceiver and one of his greatest deceptions is that he is simply not that dangerous. Satan would like to keep on deceiving, to keep under wraps who he really is and keep us believing that he is not that formidable of an opponent. So when we learn what he's truly made of and the depth of his evilness, he doesn't like it. I believe our family has been battling satan this year.
Many things have happened in these last months which I don't write about on the blog or talk about with friends or even family. It's just been a battle. A real one. Spiritually, this has been a very difficult year for us. Matt and I have discussed it many, many times. Temptations, fears, doubts, persecution. We've experienced the gamut, it seems. Through it all, the Lord has held us close. He's never once let us slip or fall, even though we felt like we were outnumbered and hanging on by a thread.
One thing I've been battling lately is fear. I woke up in the middle of the night a few days ago. I was absolutely petrified. The current presidential race, coupled with the recent events involving ISIS had me thinking, fearing, about the future. Specifically our kids' futures. More specifically, I began to imagine a world war and a military draft in which all five of our boys would be at risk and in harm's way. I cried and I prayed. I cuddled up to Matt and eventually fell back to sleep.
Then, in the morning, during my devotional time, I read this passage from Psalm 32:
Therefore let everyone who is godly
offer prayer to you at a time when you may be found;
surely in the rush of great waters,
they shall not reach him.
7 You are a hiding place for me;
you preserve me from trouble;
you surround me with shouts of deliverance.
Just when I think I can't take it anymore, God comes. He sees. He knows. He reminds me of His sovereignty.
We are nearing the end of our study of Revelation. Sometimes, when you've studied a book of the Bible for many weeks, you forget where you started. But Sunday at church, I was reminded of the beginning. One of the readings of the day was from the first chapter of Revelation:
Then I turned to see the voice that was speaking to me, and on turning I saw seven golden lampstands, and in the midst of the lampstands one like a son of man, clothed with a long robe and with a golden sash around his chest. The hairs of his head were white, like white wool, like snow. His eyes were like a flame of fire, his feet were like burnished bronze, refined in a furnace, and his voice was like the roar of many waters. In his right hand he held seven stars, from his mouth came a sharp two-edged sword, and his face was like the sun shining in full strength.
When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. But he laid his right hand on me, saying, “Fear not, I am the first and the last, and the living one. I died, and behold I am alive forevermore, and I have the keys of Death and Hades.
Pastor gave his sermon from this text. He talked about Jesus and about how He is trustworthy, faithful and true. He ended his sermon with this quote: "It's only when Christ is seen for who He really is, that we can see anything else as it really is."
Christ is The Lamb. He is victorious. And He says, "Fear not."
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