Rocks First

Matt and I had our annual homeschool planning day this past Saturday. When we do this, we pray about and discuss the plans we have for each of our children for the upcoming school year.

This year we discussed rocks, Matt's term for the "important stuff." He keeps reminding me that the rocks won't fit into the jar if I've filled the jar with sand (the "unimportant stuff") first. I have a tendency this time of year to think about all the wonderful activities out there for the kids. I think, "Wouldn't she enjoy that?" "Wouldn't it be great if he could do that?" or worse, "If my kids don't do these things, I'll be a failure as a homeschool mom."

As Matt and I talked about all the possibilities for the children, we kept coming back to a conversation we had with our dear friends a couple of weeks ago. Our friends (who also homeschool) are facing a grave medical issue right now. The wife told me of the plans they had for their oldest son this academic school year. She said they've scrapped those plans. Instead, they intend to spend quality days together as a family "because life is too short."

Six years ago, we were just beginning our first year of homeschooling. We were also facing a very difficult trial of our faith. This trial consumed much of our time and energy. Matt and I spent many hours reading the Bible and in prayer. I questioned the Lord's wisdom in allowing us to go through something so horrendous during our first year of homeschooling. Now I clearly see the Lord's wisdom. He was teaching us that there is nothing more important on this earth than cultivating a relationship with His Son, Jesus the Christ. There is no curriculum or activity for my kids that supersedes the importance of time spent in God's word, the Bible.

Six years later, I find that I still struggle with getting our priorities straight. I still try to add things to the family's schedule. They're not bad things, they're good things. But the good is the enemy of the best. If the things I try to add push out the best (reading and study of His Word), then what good are those things?

Having said that, Matt and I try to evaluate all of our kids activities by looking at them from both a long term and eternal perspective. How would a certain activity benefit this child when he becomes an adult? Does this activity have any eternal value? For instance, in the case of piano lessons for Grace, Matt and I looked beyond her present pleasure with playing the piano and thought of how her ability to play piano could benefit her later in life. We realized she will eventually be able to play during worship at church (she has done this once already). She will also be able to play for own family some day (if the Lord should grant her one) and teach them the hymns and songs of praise that she is learning now.

Matt and I also take into account the talents the Lord has given each child, but we still try to come back to the long term or eternal benefit of the activity we're considering for that child. Our family theme verse for the last few years has been, "Redeeming the time, for the days are evil." (Ephes. 5:15) When one of the kids asks me about joining some current faddish activity (think Webkinz), I ask that child, "Do think that is 'redeeming the time?' " Usually the answer is, "no." Then we try to think of something else to learn or do that would be more valuable, like knitting or wood working.

I'm certainly not implying that Matt and I have it "all together" and we're doing things perfectly. We're still learning (and relearning) important lessons the Lord is teaching (or reteaching) us about being good parents. But the bottom line is this, both Matt and I want to be able to look at our adult children and say, "I have no greater joy than to know that my children walk in truth." (3 John 4)