What about socialization? The classic question. I've noticed that since homeschooling has gained more popularity and acceptance by the general public, I've had to field this question less and less over the years. Still, it does come up on occasion. Our new pediatrician asked Elizabeth about socialization a few weeks ago at her well check appointment. "Do you have friends outside of your family? Because that's really important." Of course, Elizabeth answered "yes", she does have friends. I refrained from giving the answer that popped into my head, "No, we keep her locked up in our house all of the time."
The classic counter question to the socialization question is this: "When in life will your child ever be in a situation where he is interacting with twenty five people of his exact same age all day, everyday?" Classrooms, for the sake of practicality, set up what is in essence a false construct of human interaction. It makes sense to do this in a classroom, but real life doesn't work this way.
Our kids are able to carry on conversations with a variety of people, from children who are younger than they are, to adults who are much, much older than they are. I think they're well socialized.
Personally, I love Voddie Baucham's answer to the socialization question. "Yeah, that's why we homeschool."
What curriculum do you use? I cringe when people ask me this question. To be fair, it was one of the questions I asked when we first started homeschooling. The truth is, it doesn't matter what curriculum is used. Across the board, no matter what method homeschool parents choose to use (whether it be Charlotte Mason, classical, relaxed, delight-directed, eclectic or traditional textbook), all methods are successful.
Each child, each mother, each family, each year in a family's life are different. I always tell moms, "You have to find what works for you and your family. As soon as you try to copy someone else and what they're doing, you're almost certainly going to fail." Ask me how I know.
God made each and every one of us perfectly unique. The beauty of homeschooling is that education can be tailored for each child and each family's circumstances, which is something that can't be done very well in a classroom setting.
The one curriculum I can whole heartedly recommend to everyone is the Bible. Tucking the Word into our children's hearts is of utmost importance.
Aren't you concerned that your children are too sheltered? Sheltered from what? Bullying? Trash talking? Knowing more things about adult subjects than I care for them to know? An unhealthy dependence on technology (cell phones, video games, Facebook, etc.)? Drugs? Alcohol? Sex? Guilty as charged.
Don't you think your kids should be in the public schools so that they can share the Gospel with their unsaved classmates? Well, I wouldn't send a soldier to the battlefield if he hadn't been to basic training. Matt and I have agreed that making sure our children are well grounded in Scripture is the most important job we have as parents. By the grace of God, we desire that our kids will be able to defend their faith when they are older (some are already getting there). The younger ones are not yet able to swim against the strong cultural current of our day by simultaneously standing for truth and maintaining their own innocence.
Aren't you worried about gaps in the kids' educations? My own sixteen year education had plenty of gaps. So did Matt's eighteen year education. What you don't know, you learn later. Learning should never stop. Our goal is to teach our children how to find the knowledge they need, not just regurgitate facts and figures.
Do you plan to homeschool them all the way through high school? Yep (with God's help, of course.)
Aren't you worried about teaching higher level subjects? I used to be. I'm not any more. The kids have a Daddy who is a wonder with math, science and computers. He helps me with curricula choices for these subjects and as well as with the school work itself. The kids also have a Grandma and Grandpa who help in these subject areas. In addition, independent homeschool co ops in our area offer a multitude of these courses, should we ever decide that outside help is warranted.
How do you do your homeschool planning day? The idea for our annual homeschool planning day came from Steve and Teri Maxwell. While they suggest a whole weekend to get away as a couple, I found this idea to be too difficult to implement in our family. Packing up all the school books and getting all the kids ready for a weekend away sounded like too much work to me. Instead, Grandma and Grandpa take the kids for an entire day so that Matt and I can be at home with all the curricula, internet access and interrupted time we need.
The days leading up to our homeschool planning day, I research different curricula online, go through what I already own and just do some overall thinking/ planning. As I do all of this, I keep that year's scores from the kids' assessments in mind, concentrating on weak areas that will need more attention in the year to come. I also think of character qualities I'd like to see developed in each child, as well as character weaknesses I'd like to see addressed (although this is a subject Matt and I talk about year round). I jot down thoughts in a notebook as they occur to me before the big day.
I lay all the curricula in piles on the dining room table, placing the child's name on the appropriate pile. I also lay out all the other stuff I'm considering in a TBD pile(s). I make notes of the items I don't have and need to order.
Matt and I then begin discussing plans for each child, starting with Grace, since she's the oldest and her homeschool planning is the most complicated. We go down the list through all the kids. We compare prices online and order what we need. We discuss our overarching family goals for the year, time in the Bible being the first and most important. This usually involves a culling process as we eliminate extra subjects or extra curricular activities for which we know we won't have the time. I've come to deeply value Matt's perspective during our homeschool planning day. He keeps me from getting hung up on the details and simplifies my sometimes way too complicated approach to homeschooling.
At the end of the day, we treat ourselves to a nice dinner out.
The next two are comments I get a lot, not questions.
"Boy, you sure must have a lot of patience. I could never homeschool my children. I just don't have that kind of patience." Actually, I'm the least patient person I know. Just ask my kids, they'll confirm it. I knew from the beginning that God had a lot more for me to learn through homeschooling than He did for my kids. This is one area in my life in which He's been working. I get frustrated. I don't understand why my kids can't memorize simple math facts. I don't understand why they can't get along with each other. I don't understand why they can't pick up after themselves. I don't understand why I have to deal with the same sins in them over and over again. Good thing God doesn't feel this way about me.
"I couldn't stand to be with my kids all day long. I don't know how you do it." I don't even respond to this comment when I get it. I simply don't know what to say. What a sad commentary when a mother, who has been given precious gifts from God, can't stand to be around her own children. It breaks my heart and I know it breaks God's heart.
I'm sure that even after I answer these questions about homeschooling, people still don't get it. They just think Matt and I are crazy. That's o.k. I'm getting very used to being weird. I'm not doing this for human accolades--they're aren't many to be had in this whole homeschooling thing anyway. I'm doing this for the One who desires to be glorified through this process.
"And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up." Gal. 6:9
Another point I'd like to make--homeschooling is not a formula for producing great kids. It's not a recipe to be followed with the finished product being a well-rounded, super academically (and in every other way successful), faith-filled, on fire for Jesus kid. This is God's work, not mine. The results will be His, not mine. I'm only responsible for being obedient to His call. Our kids are responsible for hearing and obeying God's call in their lives. And in end, God will work out all the details, covering over the mistakes Matt and I have made (or not, if it's His will) and all will be for our good and His glory.
Related resources: the books: The Three R's, You Can Teach Your Child Successfully and A Biblical Home Education by Ruth Beechick, Family Driven Faith by Dr. Voddie Baucham and anything from Doorposts. I'm currently working through Hidden Treasures with the kids. The Learning Parent also has many wonderful resources on biblical character training. The cds, Curriculum Advice I and II by Victoria Botkin and this blog post about curriculum written by Laura at Heavenly Homemakers.
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