Homeschooling: Finding Encouragement

Homeschooling can be a very lonely experience.  A mom can feel very isolated when she's at home all day with little ones, unable to leave the house unless she has the energy to make Titanic proportion preparations in order to do so.  I've been there, many, many times.  Here are some of the things I've learned along the way.

I learned to "watch my heart."  The Lord kept adding more children to our family (for which we were very happy), but my friends were outgrowing the "little years" with their children and thus had more freedom than I had.  I felt even greater isolation as this began to happen.  A few years ago a friend of mine who has ten children said to me, "You've got to watch your heart, Melissa.  It's easy to become discontented when your friends are able to go on lunch dates or meet to play tennis or go shopping.  I've been through that, but now those same friends are coming home to empty houses.  My house is always full of kids, full of activity and full of laughter.  It's great!"

I learned to find fellowship with others who are walking the same road.  One piece of advice Matt and I have often gotten as we've searched out counsel on the issue of feeling isolated on our homeschool journey is to "find a church with like-minded families."  These people are always shocked when we tell them we belong to a church where there are no other homeschoolers (although recently, one other family has begun to homeschool).  Matt and I know that we were called to be members of our church.  Our church has a private school connected with it and that's where many members send their children.  It's a good school, it's just not God's plan for us.  So where to find "like-minded" fellowship?  I prayed for three years for the answer.

The answer, for us, came in a group of folks who meet monthly to worship and fellowship together.  We're all homeschooling families, many (though not all) have large families and we love to get together.  I've received so much wisdom and encouragement from the women in this group.  Matt has received the same from the men.  Our little kids absolutely love to play with all the other little ones.  Our bigger kids enjoy having time to talk with other kids in their age brackets who are facing the same struggles, etc.

Matt and I have also received a ton of encouragement from attending our state homeschool conference every year.  It's a hassle to get all of us ready for such a big trip.  It's expensive (the gas, hotel, etc.), but very much worth every bit of hassle and expense.  We get to meet with many other homeschooling families.  Just seeing other families that are doing what we're doing is reassuring.  In addition, the Lord has encouraged us along the way through the lectures and opportunities to talk to the speakers about homeschooling and how to parent in a way that honors God.

Some of these speakers include Brian Ray, Voddie Baucham, Doug Phillips and his wife Beall, Diana Waring, Stacy McDonald, Scott Brown, Ken Ham, Colin Gunn, Gregg Harris, Jobe and Jenna Dee Martin, Steve and Teri Maxwell, Kevin Swanson, Dr. S. M. Davis and Geoff and Victoria Botkin and their family.  All of these folks are farther along in their homeschooling journeys, and many have already graduated their children.  It's been good for Matt and I to receive their wisdom and perspective from their vantage point further down the road.

I learned to remind myself of God's promises.  I read the book of Joshua the summer before we began homeschooling.  God spoke to me through Joshua's meeting with the preincarnate Christ before he was to lead the Israelites in the battle of Jericho.     

When Joshua was by Jericho, he lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, a man was standing before him with his drawn sword in his hand. And Joshua went to him and said to him, “Are you for us, or for our adversaries?”  And he said, “No; but I am the commander of the army of the Lord. Now I have come.” And Joshua fell on his face to the earth and worshiped and said to him, “What does my lord say to his servant?”  And the commander of the Lord's army said to Joshua, “Take off your sandals from your feet, for the place where you are standing is holy.” And Joshua did so.

Now Jericho was shut up inside and outside because of the people of Israel. None went out, and none
came in.  And the Lord said to Joshua, “See, I have given Jericho into your hand, with its king and mighty men of valor. You shall march around the city, all the men of war going around the city once. Thus shall you do for six days. Seven priests shall bear seven trumpets of rams' horns before the ark. On the seventh day you shall march around the city seven times, and the priests shall blow the trumpets. And when they make a long blast with the ram's horn, when you hear the sound of the trumpet, then all the people shall shout with a great shout, and the wall of the city will fall down flat, and the people shall go up, everyone straight before him.”  Joshua 5:13-13, 6:1-5

The Lord told Joshua, "I have given Jericho into your hand."  In essence, the Lord was saying, "The battle is already done.  The victory is Mine.  All you have to do is walk out My plan."

The Lord so very clearly spoke to my heart and said, "This homeschooling thing is a done deal.  I've already done it.  All you have to is WALK IT OUT."  Many, many times over the years, during seasons of discouragement, I've recalled these verses and received anew the comfort the Lord gave me before our homeschooling journey even began.

I learned to encourage other moms.  I have had young moms confess to me how difficult life is for them.  When you're sleep deprived and your days are a never ending stream of laundry, cooking, diaper changing and child training, it feels like you'll never get out of the cycle.  I understand.  I've been there and in many ways, I still am there.  But I'm also beginning to see the other side.  I'll never forget the day I was able to run to the store by myself for ten minutes to buy a jar of spaghetti sauce for dinner.  The heavens opened and the Hallelujah Chorus played.  I'm not kidding.  

I've finally reached the point in my parenting journey where I'm reaping some of the fruit of those early years of endless work.  The kids are now able to help their Dad and me with the workload around the house.  I'm enjoying having kids that I can talk to on a more adult level.  Often times they are able to generate a solution to a problem that I can't solve myself.  And, for the first time in many years, my kitchen knives are always sharp because I have a son who loves to do that job.  Oh the perks!

Matt and I bought a small children's table the other day off of Craigslist.  When we got to the seller's house, she saw that I'm pregnant and asked if this is my first.  Matt and I both laughed and told her it's our eighth.  She said, "You are blessed!  We had six children and now they're all gone.  We miss all the noise and the cooking of the big meals.  You are truly blessed!"  We are blessed and we know that all too soon, we'll have children who will be leaving the nest and we'll long for the "good old days."    

Related resources:  the books: The Heart of Homeschooling by Christopher Klicka, A Mom Just Like You by Vickie Farris, Homeschooling with a Meek and Quiet Spirit by Teri Maxwell, Things We Wish We'd Known by Bill and Diana Waring and Parenting From the Heart by Marilyn Boyer.