Bond Servant

I asked for an awl for Christmas. I didn't get one. So I wrote "awl" at the top of my birthday list. Matt wasn't sure if I wanted a scratching awl or a punching awl. Didn't matter, I just wanted an awl. Matt finally settled on a scratching awl. Why an awl? I wanted something tangible I could look upon during my hectic days when I'm overwhelmed and all seems in a muddle. Something to remind me of whose I am.

In Bible times, if a Hebrew servant served six years to his master, he was to be set free. However, there was a provision made by God for a servant who wanted to stay on with the family. He could become a bond servant by his own choosing. "But if your servant says to you, 'I do not want to leave you,' because he loves you and your family and is well off with you, then take an awl and push in through his ear lobe into the door, and he will become your servant for life. Do the same for your maidservant." (Deut. 15:16,17)

In the New Testament, the apostle Paul refers to himself as a bond servant (often times only translated "servant") of the Lord Jesus Christ. This has a deeper connotation than merely a servant paying back a debt owed. The bond servant chooses to stay with his Master, the Lord Jesus Christ.

Thus, the awl for a birthday present. I've needed a visible reminder of whose I am, because this life is hard, as Jesus said it would be. ("In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33b ) Would I have chosen on my own to home school? Absolutely not. It wasn't so long ago that I thought homeschoolers were crazy (really). Would I have chosen on my own to have six children? No. It wasn't so long ago that I thought people with more than three or four kids were crazy (really, really). Matt and I chose these things because the Lord made it clear that He wanted them for our family.

How did we discern what God's will for us was? By our own reading of the scripture. That's how the Lord (most often and most reliably) shows us His will. The more we read and studied the Bible, the more convicted we were in these areas. That said, does it hurt when someone questions if Matt and I are doing God's will? Yes, it does. Does it hurt when people think that we've patterned our lives after other homeschooling families just for the sake of being like them? Yes, it does. I can tell you, no one in their right mind would choose this life based on trying to be a photocopy of someone else's life. Matt and I would have abandoned ship a long time ago if this were the case. Instead, we "press on."

So I come to the crux of the matter--the crazy paradox of the Christian life. Joy is found in doing God's will even when that will is difficult. And when I look on my awl, I will remember my Master and say to myself what Katie Luther said, "I will stick to Christ as a burr to a topcoat."
The awl as rests on the kitchen window sill where I'll see it often throughout the day.