Who am I?

I've been reading 1 and 2 Samuel in the mornings. It has struck me anew how long King David had to wait to actually become king. Even though he was "taken from the sheepfold" and anointed king by Samuel, he did not actually hold that office until years later, during which time he was relentlessly hunted by King Saul and his armies. My Bible also has the psalms that David wrote during this time alongside the readings from 1 and 2 Samuel. David was tormented in spirit during these years, but he always put his trust in the Lord. David had two opportunities to kill Saul and become king, but he would not touch the Lord's anointed. He would not push forward with God's plan in his own way.

When David finally did become king over all of Israel, and the Lord gave him rest from his enemies, David desired to build a permanent dwelling place for the ark. "See now," he said, "I dwell in a house of cedar, but the ark of God dwells inside tent curtains." (2 Sam. 7:2). The Lord's reply to David was a plan to bless David and establish his throne forever.

When David heard this, he asked the Lord, "Who am I, O Lord God? And what is my house, that you have brought me this far?" (2 Sam. 7:18).

When I read King David's words this morning, I prayed them back to the Lord. "Who am I?" That's what I've been feeling for the last week. Matt and I have really been through a "night season" in our lives. We've had to continually cling to the Lord, knowing that He is sovereign and He loves us. God has used the trials of the last few years to bring us to a greater dependence on Him and we wouldn't go back for anything. Yet we know what we've been through is nothing compared to what we've seen around us.

Matt's mom and dad have a friend who died of colon cancer this past weekend. We've been praying for this man and his family for about a year now. He leaves behind his parents, a wife and two daughters, ages 9 and 11.

My friend's granddaughter is still struggling with leukemia. She survived a crisis last week. We all prayed to this end, but we know that the road ahead will still be a rough one.

My internet friend's husband has still not found a job. Their son with the mitochondrial defect is very ill and the health insurance runs out in about a week.

I read the Voice of the Martyrs magazine yesterday. Christians in China are being horribly persecuted right now because the government is cracking down on them before the Olympics. These people have lost all their possessions, have had their elderly parents imprisoned, have been beaten unconscious and have been jailed repeatedly for their faith in Jesus Christ, which they refuse to renounce. Through it all, they pray for their tormentors, they read the Word and praise God for suffering for the name of Jesus.

"Who am I, O Lord God? And what is my house, that You have brought me this far?" Matt and I pray that we will use this current time of blessing to God's glory. We desire to always remember that we are just sojourners here. Our real citizenship is in Heaven. Thanks be to God!